Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
