3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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