I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
