gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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