She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize