Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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