They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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