when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sorry about my life...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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