piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
