I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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