Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
