I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
