i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
