with your own penis?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
