did you get engaged???
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
