just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
