Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
