Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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