Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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