I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
