8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I am morally bankrupt
Say something about gay babies.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
