So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
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It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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