I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Randomize
