Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
