Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize