His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
