Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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