Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
