Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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