Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
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She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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