I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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