laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
