we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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