To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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