oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize