btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
