maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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