the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
