She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
