happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
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