i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
