just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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