remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
