I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
