I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
