making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
