You can't special order awesome
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
