Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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