just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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