you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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