is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
