STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
