wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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