Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize