He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
